Parenting – Solo

I realized one day that I was carrying the weight of being both the mother and the father, yet I was unhappily married. It took a long time for me to really grasp my role in my children’s lives after that. The day came that I decided if I’m going to be both parents, I may as well do it on my own – I would certainly be happier. And I am.

When I realized I was parenting, but also acting as a crutch for my then husband who had no real relationship with the kids, I felt an overwhelming sense of exhaustion. Just imagine how much more successful I would be as a parent if I didn’t have this dead weight blocking me at every turn… And just think how much more I’d be able to be myself if I didn’t have to tiptoe around… The list goes on. The point is that I deserve the opportunity to be the best parent I can be, my kids deserve the best parent possible. I know I’m awesome at parenting, so why keep making it look like my ex is also good at parenting when he isn’t. I work my tooshy off to be a good parent, but he’s getting the credit too.

That may sound petty, but I look at it from more of a teaching perspective, since I am a teacher after all. I see it as modeling. I want to model the best for my kids. The best parenting, the best relationships… All of it. If I had stayed in that marriage, they were not seeing healthy, honest, love and respect. Now they see honest growth, they know me better than ever, and they also know their father better than ever. It certainly isn’t easy to go through a divorce (ugh), but I am happier than ever.

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